Friday, March 13, 2015
Start of a New Prep
What can I say..I feel like a puffer fish. That massive cheat day I had yesterday bloated me up hardcore. Face feels puffy..but that's ok it will go away. Today I feel refreshed and focused. I am going to give these next 11 weeks my all. No mess ups, no hesitations, just pure focus. My only distractions should be work and school. Hopefully my friends will understand...which they do. Right now I will leave the stress to my diet coach haha. Poor Mary (I love her though, she's amazing). Right now I am focusing on being positive and learning to enjoy the process.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
What do you use to motivate you?
Whenever I feel tired or discouraged, I scroll through my instagram account. I rarely post pics, but I follow a ton of fitness people. Actually I think I only follow 3 people that are not fitness related and that's because they are my close friends. Everyone else posts fitness pics that help me stay focused.
One girl I follow posted a pic and I realized she is dealing with the same thing I am going through...her stage weight was 113 last year and she got up to 162lbs. Oh man I know the feeling and it was awesome to see how her progress is going. She is slowly leaning out for her next show in 14 weeks. Seeing how slow her weight is dropping made me realize that I cannot give up just because it doesn't drop one week. I reached out to her and told her I'm so frustrated that my weight isn't dropping and she said she just had to focus on loving the gym again and not worry about fat loss. It made her life better and to keep pushing. Oh man, this motivated to see what I can potentially lose in the future. My show is in 11 weeks..so I just need to focus on killing my workouts and make this prep as positive as I can.
One girl I follow posted a pic and I realized she is dealing with the same thing I am going through...her stage weight was 113 last year and she got up to 162lbs. Oh man I know the feeling and it was awesome to see how her progress is going. She is slowly leaning out for her next show in 14 weeks. Seeing how slow her weight is dropping made me realize that I cannot give up just because it doesn't drop one week. I reached out to her and told her I'm so frustrated that my weight isn't dropping and she said she just had to focus on loving the gym again and not worry about fat loss. It made her life better and to keep pushing. Oh man, this motivated to see what I can potentially lose in the future. My show is in 11 weeks..so I just need to focus on killing my workouts and make this prep as positive as I can.
Here We Go..my competition history
Wow, March 12. What can I say? Well first off let me introduce you to my journey...3 years ago I decided to do my first NPC bikini competition. I competed at 19 years old and got hooked! The days and nights spent at the gym were totally worth it. I remember being constantly stressed and worn out...my first coach did not know what she was doing. She practically starved me. I was a walking zombie, but honestly to me it was worth it. I loved being on stage. Then it began..more shows! My whole summer I competed as a teen, getting trophies and medals at every show. I even won in my open class with older ladies! Oh this gave me hope! Maybe I could actually do good at this sport.
After my last show in 2013, I was extremely worn out. I didn't know anything about reverse dieting and the binge eating began. For the record I have always had an eating problem. I hate to admit I have any type of eating disorder...I mean I guess I could, but I feel like a lot of competitors go through this. Anyways, I put on a crapload of weight and started prepping the last week of December 2013. My heaviest..156! Oh boy..and it began, dieting down all year. It's a long story but I ended up joining Kim Oddo as part as an Oddo's Angel. Did 3 shows and finally at my third show won 5th place at Dallas Europa. I was a little upset, because in 2013 I placed 3rd at the Europa for my open class and 1st in Teen. But it was ok..I finally dropped to 125lbs and was happy and confident. My goal was to do a national show so I did. I ended up doing USAs at my lowest weight ever..118lbs. Honestly, looking back at my photos, I lost a lot of size. But I super lean and vascular!
And now..it's been hell. I hired a trainer, and he is amazing at what he does. But when I was suppose to be dieting for the Arnold Amateur (yes that was my next show planned), I was pissed, frustrated, and depressed. My weight got up to 157lbs..again. This time I had a lot more size and shape. I definitely put on muscle. But that feeling of feeling fat again..not fitting into most of my favorite gym clothes and cute little outfits. It's a horrible feeling. I hardcore dieted, little to no carbs and hours of cardio. I felt drained and worn out all the time. I honestly wasn't giving my diet 100% like I use to. I would do good for 2 weeks, feel like shit, and binge on healthy foods because I did not see progress. My body was not responding great. I ended up backing out of the show and focusing on a later show.
This is I'm still having the issue of feeling disgusted with myself. I look like a puffy whale. I hate myself constantly. I am still killing my workouts, but the binges don't stop. I'll weigh myself everyday, drop 2 lbs and maintain at 152 and then want to give up. I went back to my second prep diet coach and told her everything. She said my body was worn out and that it needs to recover. We are slowly giving me more calories and cut my cardio by a lot. I started her diet last Tuesday and honestly feel better. I love the food options more. But it happened. I kept weighing myself everyday and this morning I was pissed because I was stuck at 152lbs and I just binged. I binged all day. Started off with peanut butter and coconut oil..then went to turkey jerky and a ton of bread...and then ice cream and froyo. And more bread. Yup, I messed up bad.
I texted her telling her what happened, and then she called me. She talked to me about needed to stop stressing out about it. I need to stop worrying 24/7 about losing fat and weight. Of course this binge set me back, but I need to let it go and focus on making my diet perfect these next 12 weeks. And THATS WHY I LOVE HER! She is amazing and honest. She told me it's gonna be hard to lose 30 lbs (My goal weight is at 125lbs because 118 was too lean), but to be consistant and stop worrying about my weight.
So what now? Something hit me...I need to stop weighing myself everyday. I promise only to weigh myself at check-ins when I send my pics to her. Right now I am sending pics every 3 days. I am prepared to have my weight go up on Saturday because of my binge. But I will just keep hustling in my workouts and focus on being POSITIVE.
After my last show in 2013, I was extremely worn out. I didn't know anything about reverse dieting and the binge eating began. For the record I have always had an eating problem. I hate to admit I have any type of eating disorder...I mean I guess I could, but I feel like a lot of competitors go through this. Anyways, I put on a crapload of weight and started prepping the last week of December 2013. My heaviest..156! Oh boy..and it began, dieting down all year. It's a long story but I ended up joining Kim Oddo as part as an Oddo's Angel. Did 3 shows and finally at my third show won 5th place at Dallas Europa. I was a little upset, because in 2013 I placed 3rd at the Europa for my open class and 1st in Teen. But it was ok..I finally dropped to 125lbs and was happy and confident. My goal was to do a national show so I did. I ended up doing USAs at my lowest weight ever..118lbs. Honestly, looking back at my photos, I lost a lot of size. But I super lean and vascular!
And now..it's been hell. I hired a trainer, and he is amazing at what he does. But when I was suppose to be dieting for the Arnold Amateur (yes that was my next show planned), I was pissed, frustrated, and depressed. My weight got up to 157lbs..again. This time I had a lot more size and shape. I definitely put on muscle. But that feeling of feeling fat again..not fitting into most of my favorite gym clothes and cute little outfits. It's a horrible feeling. I hardcore dieted, little to no carbs and hours of cardio. I felt drained and worn out all the time. I honestly wasn't giving my diet 100% like I use to. I would do good for 2 weeks, feel like shit, and binge on healthy foods because I did not see progress. My body was not responding great. I ended up backing out of the show and focusing on a later show.
This is I'm still having the issue of feeling disgusted with myself. I look like a puffy whale. I hate myself constantly. I am still killing my workouts, but the binges don't stop. I'll weigh myself everyday, drop 2 lbs and maintain at 152 and then want to give up. I went back to my second prep diet coach and told her everything. She said my body was worn out and that it needs to recover. We are slowly giving me more calories and cut my cardio by a lot. I started her diet last Tuesday and honestly feel better. I love the food options more. But it happened. I kept weighing myself everyday and this morning I was pissed because I was stuck at 152lbs and I just binged. I binged all day. Started off with peanut butter and coconut oil..then went to turkey jerky and a ton of bread...and then ice cream and froyo. And more bread. Yup, I messed up bad.
I texted her telling her what happened, and then she called me. She talked to me about needed to stop stressing out about it. I need to stop worrying 24/7 about losing fat and weight. Of course this binge set me back, but I need to let it go and focus on making my diet perfect these next 12 weeks. And THATS WHY I LOVE HER! She is amazing and honest. She told me it's gonna be hard to lose 30 lbs (My goal weight is at 125lbs because 118 was too lean), but to be consistant and stop worrying about my weight.
So what now? Something hit me...I need to stop weighing myself everyday. I promise only to weigh myself at check-ins when I send my pics to her. Right now I am sending pics every 3 days. I am prepared to have my weight go up on Saturday because of my binge. But I will just keep hustling in my workouts and focus on being POSITIVE.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)